real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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