K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
