i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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