We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
