I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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