Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
