farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
