I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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