Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
