I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
