puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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