What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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