you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
