Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
