She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
