i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
