you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
