real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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