You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
zippers are such a cool invention
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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