I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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