I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
