'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do vagina's smell?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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