There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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