we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me I should be a condom model.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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