im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
