I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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