If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
