the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
