you would pick up someone in the library
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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