Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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