when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
