Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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