these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
