My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
