I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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