she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
