That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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