Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
