nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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