His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
