it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
