North Korea, Best Korea!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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