we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
