chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
