I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
