oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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