I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
