So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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