sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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