he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
