i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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