You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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